He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
