Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
