hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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