Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
