I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
