Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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