I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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