sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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