I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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