my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
