rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
