Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
