I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
