I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
