is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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