i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
