Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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