dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
