i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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