There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
