You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
