carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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