He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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