my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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