I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
