do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
