using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
