Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
