go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
