You're so nebulous sometimes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
