Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
