I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
