God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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