No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
