If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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