i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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