I just saw a hot homeless man
It's Friday. Sex?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize