Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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