I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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