too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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