Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
