So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
