i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
