Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
