I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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