I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
