They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
