come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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