Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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