Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
