Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
