I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
