Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
In America we eat man semen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
