he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
