Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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