It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
