my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
