What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
