I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
