called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
