I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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