Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
