i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
