I'm eating all of the evidence.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
